Holy Fucking Shit

Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the ‘tea party movement’.

The tea party position to “end the bailouts” for example is just silly. Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn’t that what we want all Coloreds to strive for? What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare? What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds! Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of “reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government.” What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life? As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government “stop the out of control spending.” Again, they directly target Colored People. That means we Colored People would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government “stop raising our taxes.” That is outrageous! How will we Colored People ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn? Totally racist! The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.


Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Head Colored Person

Can I say it?  OK, I’ll say it.  The Tea Party, as represented by their chairman, are a bunch of racist pigs.  I’m sorry I’m not at all sorry it’s come to this, but as a white dude, I feel it’s my duty to both mock these swine and to point out that the NAACP is right & correct.  If I have ever found equality-for-all to be a burden on me personally, then I hope I have at least had the good grace to realize it’s a burden felt just as heavily by every other American, and not an insult or imposition on me personally.
That seems to be where these cats are coming from–they just resent having to think about *any*body else besides their damn selves.  This letter is an ugly, cruel thing, and I hope that denouncing this bullshit can bring us all (except, obviously, the scumbags who agree with this atavistic yowl) together.

Also: Rush stays classy. Remember, folks, there’s nooo racism on the Right!  None a’tall!

Letter via Balloon Juice.

No Thank You

Wired brings us this epic rant which does an excellent job of summarizing an ongoing battle between the FCC and the money-sucking corporate vampires who want to destroy one of the great successes of the last 20 years.

I’m strongly inclined to see this as yet another salvo in the war on equality.  Seriously, America is the only country in the world where people (remember, corporations are people too!) are supporting the idea that something inherently incapable of discrimination be remade in order to discriminate.  And there’s a serious chance corrupt legislators will do it, too.  Got to make sure the Haves let the Have-Nots know who’s in charge!

This Might Be…

…why I love Jezebel.  I love it when wingnuts play postmodern semantics games, I really do.  It’s like when your dog goes from licking his own butt to trying to lick your nose–disgusting and yet charmingly misguided at the same time.

Key line:

And someone who actively seeks to restrict women’s freedom calling herself a feminist is, not to put too fine a point on it, a liar. There’s a difference between a big tent and no boundaries whatsoever; if Palin’s “entitled to be accepted” as a feminist just because she says she’s one, then the word is completely meaningless — as opposed to merely vague and controversial.

Call It, Friendo

To Greg’s point in particular, I think the problem is not just that Palin’s attacks and smears have become so vile and absurd that they no longer merit attention, but rather, that major media outlets pass along Palin’s vile and absurd attacks without telling the public that her nonsense is nonsense.

This, this, a thousand times this.  The press does this all the time.  You can see it most clearly when anti-science lunatics blather on about “teaching the controversy” but it happens on every subject.  Without anyone to name a lie for what it is, any penalty or drawback for lying is removed.  It’s pure poison to our political system, and the proliferation of this mindset among journalists and editors is a major factor in why we are where we are today.  ANY time a public figure tells a lie, it needs to be called out.  ANY time a public figure gets the facts twisted, it needs to be called out and put in context.  Public figures complain?  Eff ’em; scrutiny is part and parcel of what they signed up for.  These people are public servants*, not an aristocracy.

*Sarah Palin is not a public servant.  She quit halfway through her term and is now a media personality, much like Anne Coulter or Glenn Beck.  Or Jesse James, for that matter…

The Risk is from the Media

Chris Thomas is apparently unaware that most Americans and even our most recent veterans don’t have an issue with eliminating Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  For some reason–I guess it’s the ol’ Rove mojo–taking an action supported by more than 70% of Americans is a grave political risk, akin to a major military blunder.

The fact of the matter is that the majority of the country opposes what is essentially a hateful, senseless, and discriminatory practice.  Thomas never suggests that Republicans will pay a price for being the mouthpieces of hatred (nor, to be fair, do many stories of this nature) or for being on the wrong side of history.  Yet we know this happens.  We have Senator George Allen’s infamous Macaca Moment, and the current surge in Hispanic support for Democrats in the Southwest in the wake of Arizona’s insanity.  There was a reason that Bush II had to campaign as a “compassionate conservative,” and it wasn’t because he believed the hype.  Voters by and large do not like the hateful face the far right enjoys showing; and make no mistake, the “family values” people are the farthest of the far.   Somehow the flip side of “the liberal insistence on treating people fairly will doom them!” is never “the conservative insistence on treating not-white, not-rich, not-male citizens of this country (ed. note–that’s 2/3 of America!) unfairly will doom them!”

Thomas seems to be arguing that the media will grow bored and thus coverage will grow negative, and that Republicans will be allowed to claim, in the face of all evidence, that America opposes repealing DATA.  Neither of these has ANYthing to do with the rightness of repeal, or indeed of the values behind the drive to do away with the policy.  In other words, it’s more of an indictment of the media and the way politics get covered in this country than it is a “warning” to Democrats that they’re doing the wrong thing.  Fixing the media is a separate issue from repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  Repeal is the way to go.  Let’s do it.


I’m all for eliminating the Civil Rights Act in places where I’m confident local government will do its job and a cartel of white businesses won’t use coercion to discriminate against black people.

This is from a comment highlighted by Ta-Nehisi Coates at his place over at The Atlantic. Yes, it’s a very truncated quote, but let me give you the summation:  Dude is saying that when he’s sure people are following the law, we can repeal the law.

This has to be the stupidest thing I’ve read all month.

Why do we have to get rid of the rule, if everyone is following it?  Why does it bother you that a rule mandating equal treatment exists?  And why does it bother you so much that, in the face of its success, you feel the need to destroy it?  Without the law on the books to remind people, what’s to stop the same discriminatory behaviors from resurfacing?

Maybe the best counterexample to this sort of bullshit is the current Wall Street debacle.  Many felt that regulations could be relaxed, since there had been no financial catastrophes for 60-something years.  We relaxed them aaaaand….BAM!  Catastrophe!  Oh noes, how could this have happened?!

Arguments like the one highlighted above never take such considerations into account–it’s too inconvenient.  People have never behaved in the way he proposes they could, and they never will.  It’s why we have laws in the first place.  It’s also why this is such a frustrating article.  If we’re going to discuss fantasy worlds, couldn’t we talk about the last couple issues of Green Lantern or Xbox games or something?